Severus looked up from the texts he was studying, focusing his eyes on Lily’s unmoving form. He devoted his every while to find a way to wake her up. As of right now, he’d managed – he didn’t know if it was a day ago or several hours ago – to restore the correct functioning of her body. The woman breathed normally now and digested what he fed her.
Snape sighed – the most difficult part remained to be done, that is, restoring her senses and then, waking her up. The next spell required he examine her body carefully – the smallest error could result in her lacking a sense of sight, hearing or touch. No, Lily had to be perfect, the way he’d remembered her.
The man knelt by her bed and started to undress her – manually, as he was trying to use the least magic possible. There was no way of knowing how it’d affect Lily – and besides, he had no wish to draw the Aurors’ attention to himself. It was enough that he’d had to use spells earlier… He could very well imagine that the Aurors wouldn’t look at the situation like he did.
Lily seemed to shudder when he took her underwear off. At second glance, however, it became obvious that he’d imagined it… or he’d believed his wishful thinking to be true. He ran his fingers along her skull and checked her nostrils, mouth cavity and ears, and her delicate hands.
She was so beautiful… he ran his hands through her red hair, he trailed one of them along her cheek, and then lower, on her neck. He stared for a long while at her naked body.
Finally he succumbed to the temptation. He touched her breasts, ran his fingers over her nipples. He moved his hand lower, to her flat stomach – it was hard to believe that she’d given birth once. He gently nudged her thighs apart and touched their inner parts delicately.
While he was touching her, he couldn’t believe that her skin could be so delicate, so soft, so… silky. He slipped his hand between her legs and caressed her for a long while. For a moment he thought Lily will react, that she will wake up… but he was wrong. The woman didn’t even stir.
He was slipping his finger into her folds when he realized what exactly he was doing. He withdrew his hand like he’d been scalded, cursing. He turned away. ‚She is asleep, what do you think you are doing?!’ he thought. Immediately another voice chimed in ‚And what if Lily never wakes up?…’
He hastily covered her with the bedspread and left the room. He thought he’ll surely go mad in a moment, and besides, he needed a cold shower and a strong Draught of Peace. Never drinking again. He’s an adult man, not a teenager who steals looks and gropes girls!
Severus was feeding Lily again when he thought she reacted to his touch. Had the spell he’d recently cast worked? She was swallowing normally – he didn’t have to massage her throat. He felt a bit funny, as if he were feeding a child and not a woman he loved.
Snape remembered well what Lily liked and what she did not, and he made sure to feed her the foods from the former category. When he finished this feeding, he saw a soft smile form on her face. Was she sleeping? Or maybe she recovered the sense of taste?
He sighed. He was not used to the lack of knowledge and certainty. Every one of his potions had to be perfect, and his knowledge about its brewing impeccable. Now his attention was occupied by something much more important and he kept realizing how little he knew.
He was stumbling around blind – no one had ever succeeded in returning the dead to life. And certainly not someone who’d been dead for nearly twenty years. He cursed. The mere thought she’d once been dead… No, she was merely asleep. That’s something else. She’ll wake up, and he’ll throw out all the Dark Magic grimoires.
He imagined Lily’s face when she wakes up and recognizes him. He imagined she’d return his feelings. Only as an afterthought did he remember Potter – the boy she’d given her life for, who owed his life to her. Maybe he could introduce him to his mother – anything to make Lily happy.